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Think Twice! Before You Die (Read Mine!)

Feel like being conned in my lifetime, I needed to speak up; I just letting myself and others get taken advantage of it. I had reported my incident to strangers, government related. And it’ll be good for more people to know about it for not heard of this happening in Singapore!

A generous share advice to all, if you having depression. Don’t go to see doctors especially in Singapore! Unless you are rich, have connection or relationship, have good foundation in your career nothing to fear to lose, not work for a living! Go somewhere or do something to cheer you up. Because, people discriminate me having medical record the “depression” for the past, 10 years!

An only solution from people who are professional is to have a clarification for my medical reports to prove that I’m fit and OK to get a job. But need to pay! Why the doctors don’t give me in the first place after I recovered from my illness, now they want me to pay for it, just want to earn extra money from me, from the past I had been sick! What kind of logic is that! It wasn’t a gory or an honor to purchase such a thing! I rather my medical records/reports put in their damn system, just in case my home burn down! For people who want to view, since there’s no privacy in my life! Employers are not stupid they can check on me without paying. I did make a simple call for testing by giving my IC numbers and my name, my identity revealed to show that I had been in IMH (Institute of Mental Health) for treatment which is a place the idiot and non-open-minded people always think that for insane people live! That is the way of keeping strictly confidential! Worst than those who had committed crimes, after certain years of time their records will be erased! And does it guarantee to get a good job that matched my qualifications after I got a clarification to prove that I’m OK? Stupid law and rule, all about money! It is usually the right thing to do, to pay for money to resolve my problem, even undeserving!

Life had never been easy. The most regretful thing in my life is to see doctors because they had caused me out of jobs for years! I had lost hopes, my lifetime, my entire favorable job opportunities, though I had upgraded after I had recovered from my depression. Study in a local Polytechnic and gradated with a Diploma, that a poor like me can go so far. It only hindered me to get a job that matches my qualifications even I had improved and upgraded. I had been rejected, terminated by employers when they found out I had been in IMH! That the reasons why I don’t have a stable long term work history! If they do hired me they just demotion or abused me! It also hindered to have Insurance coverage, even have I might give up someday because no job to pay!

If job application stated that you must speak the true about any mental illness or other illness you have, but don’t hire you even you speak the truth and had tried for so many many times or years with no good result. Or just terminated you right away when they found out, you didn’t mention about your illness truly. It only showed that this country use this method to discriminate you, to filter you out from the society, and also showed that this country filled with sick people everywhere!

Discrimination makes me sick in Singapore! Social isolated in a city, heartless, arrogant and hypocrite animals everywhere that had make me suffered all these years. Always giving hard time, make people sick or turn to crimes. Honesty for me does not work in Singapore; I did my own survey for years. Curse them all! I have see things clear enough! Can’t enjoy everything or have things I like, and I have to learn to let it go!

Now I just like a handicap idle at home wasting my life! Support by my old parent. This is a real life I live. I don’t know what to do in future just like most hopeless people idle at home or on the streets, waiting for bad times to come. Waiting for miracles to save me from Hell or just wait to be alone, become the next dead corpse in Singapore! A good place easily to kill someone, nobody will care and know. There are no good associates or true friends that will truly approach to help! In the end, till have to deal with the problems myself!

How can I be filial with no stable income for all these years? I can’t even take care of myself. Filial piety, only better for the well-off people having better life than me! I would only kill her after she get weak, this is what poor people practiced through out in this world, kill someone and ended up your life!

Everywhere, most everyone wearing sad faces, they’re also having depression too. Either they don’t know it or won’t admit, or they’re just smart don’t see doctor so that they can get job easily, while the stupid one like me have to wait!

Think twice! If you want to die make sure you die, don’t be caught alive! Or you will be locked up in IMH because something wrong with your brain. Seeing psychiatrists, go for therapies or treatments. In the end, they just take a lot of your hard earned money away and all they said think of positive side!

So I learned, think of positive side, changed every negative to possible! I was raised in a single parent family. I don’t know my father well and I need not want to know about him, because he does not exist in my life at all! I used to be thinking of negatives living in such family, but now I don’t feel bad at all, because just one to care that enough! Congratulation to those don’t have old parents to care for, they’re free from responsibilities especially living in such a world! And no need to cry or feel depress anymore, congratulate those who had died, need not to suffer anymore!

I wonder anyone like me, or they’re already dead, put to silent death, murdered by the beasts wearing human skin! Or they’re just too poor; nothing is free even public library charge on using PCs. Is this what government hopes for? No true feedback and connection from the poor, died to be unknown and isolated from this world! Go, you people celebrate your own damn National Day! Not mine anymore! Nothing is proud about! Nothing worth celebrating, nothing amazing!

Religions teach people nothing good, just businesses to make money. Or they just prayed to get away from their sin and crime! Gods know if they truly exist in this world. All are living in sin! Don’t you people know, good environment give ones hopes and better life, bad environment create curses, sufferings and miserable or turn to crimes!

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